Coogi Uggs Exist, Which Probably Means The Mayan Calendar Is Real

Usually I don't go in for all this Mayan calendar stuff (although after seeing last night's "Homeland" finale -- HOLY FUCKING SHIT, by the way -- Showtime should send its subscribers packages of diapers because I was SHUH-HITTING my pants), but I saw a girl wearing Coogi Uggs on the train the other day, and I'm convinced the world is coming to an end. Hide ya kids, hide ya wives.